I worked professionally in digital marketing for about six years. I graduated with a degree in advertising and got a job as an in-house social media manager right out of the gate. After over a year and a half there I just wasn’t feeling it– nor was I getting paid even close to what the job deserves.

I thought “I know what I need. I need to work at a real agency.” They just make it look so sexy with the fully stocked wine bars, beer on tap, coffee on tap, ping-pong tables (which personally I do not participate in, but when other people do they seem to enjoy it), unlimited vacation time, etc.

The first one ended up not working and I thought, “I know what I need, I need to have the title of “copywriter,” then I’ll be happy.”

I found another job as a copywriter, but that didn’t work out either. So I thought, “I know what I need, I need to work closer to home and around more women.”

Got that job, too! It was perfect on paper – close to home, rad clients, and an awesome team.

I quit one and gave myself a week off before starting this “perfect” one, and just felt strange. I chalked it off to my body unloading some of the toxic energy I had been around daily for years.

When it was time for my first day at the “perfect on paper” job, the creative team took me out for lunch, and somewhere between the soft shell crab appetizer and duck curry (both delicious, might I add), it hit me.

I had no idea what was happening either which was extra scary. I was dizzy, sweating, blurred vision, nausea, and vertigo (which made the walk back to the office while trying to “keep my cool” even more challenging.)

I excused myself to the bathroom and tried to get my shit together, but I was actually so close to telling the HR gal that I had to go home. Instead, of course, I muscled my way through a meeting with all the new Account Managers I would be working with.

Looking back, I feel so bad for me! That was an AWFUL experience!! And in true “people pleaser” form I suffered through the day because I didn’t want to have all my new coworkers think I wasn’t a “hard worker” or I was full of shit… like, “oh you’re “sick” on your first day? Great… she’s gonna be real fun to work with.”

Somehow I realized it though… I think it was once I got home. “Holy shit, I had a sever f****** anxiety attack on the first day of my dream job.”

Surely some wine and a good night’s sleep is all I would need, and I would wake up refreshed and feeling like myself the next day.

NOPE! WRONG!

This went on for over a year.

It came in waves of severity, but I had some feeling of anxiety consistently for over a year.

I remember sitting at team lunches, faking my way through conversations just focusing on not having to run to the bathroom and throw up. Having casual chats with new coworkers in the break area not really paying attention because I had to focus on my breathing and staying calm.

Calming teas, lavender EVERYTHING, quitting coffee, ashwagandha supplements, and listening to the audio version of Eckart Tolle’s “Power of Now” were bandaids, but did not solve the problem.

I even had a moment where I questioned my marriage. Maybe that’s what was causing this anxiety? But after talking about it with my husband I determined that nope, that’s not it. We solid.

Every day I would pull into the parking lot and have to talk myself out of my feelings of anxiety.

This was my “perfect on paper” job, but my body was physically rejecting it.

Over that year it would subside and come back, subside and come back… I had no idea what was going on (but that’s not ultimately true… deep deep down I knew.)

There was a pretty clear correlation between this hitting me on the first day of my “perfect on paper” job.

My body was telling me “Nope! This isn’t where you’re supposed to be.”

And I ignored it for over a year.

I’m not saying that all my feelings of anxiety just disappeared once I stopped working for them fulltime. But I wouldn’t have been able to start healing if I hadn’t listened to my guy and started my own business.

(Side note – everyone at that agency is awesome. It just wasn’t a fit for me. I still do freelance work for them and am so grateful that we could work out that deal because it allowed me to grow my business without having to start with zero clients.)

It’s my belief now that my body was setting off little fireworks inside me, nudging me in a direction that will start to fulfill my soul’s purpose.

And that’s what I intend to do by helping other creatives who resonate with this story.

If this is you, I’m here to help you leave your toxic agency job and start a successful freelance business. I bet you’ve been contemplating this for a while now… so here’s your sign.

I can give you logistical support like setting up your social media platforms and optimizing your website, and also emotional support like the energetics of receiving and attracting your soul mate clients.

Email me at amy.a18media@gmail.com if you are feeling called to learn more about working together.

And just one more thing – I’m a strong “repurpose your content” advocate. It saves SO MUCH time and effort when creating all the social media posts, emails, landing pages, email funnels, etc. for your business. I made this “Spread Your Magic” Free Guide that gives you 20+ Ways to Repurpose Your Soul-Driven Content. YOUR words deserve to be read by more people, on more places and platforms. Grab your copy HERE.